


la vie en rose

by Revantio



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, I am very sad, M/M, Pardon me for OOCs and typos, What Makes The Sky Blue 3 Spoiler Alert, and i am very tired, i wrote this at 2 am, so much tears and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revantio/pseuds/Revantio
Summary: "Singularity, If it's love, then why does it hurt so much?"“I’m sorry.” The Singularity replied, sheer sadness in his tone.And Sandalphon chose to not answer because—Because he’ssorry, too.[A short Belisan with WMTSB 3 Spoiler and a dash of Beli/Faa. I am Sad, everyone]





	la vie en rose

“Love?”

The sun shining the garden is simply too bright; the coffee in his hands too warm to speak about this confusing matter, Sandalphon thinks. But Lucifer-sama looks genuinely amused and curious that Sandalphon held himself to listen.

“Yes. Love. Mortals, humans in particular, have many interesting ways to express it. Do you know, Sandalphon?”

The brunette tilted his head, frowning as he remembered his rather limited encounters and observations with humans.

“No.” He finally replied.

And Lucifer-sama smiled then; warm and gentle, he began his tale of a pair of humans who loved each other.

He said they were always on constant lookout of each other, always trying to make each other happy and content, always in care for each other. He said the pair would smile and laugh with each other through despair and sorrow, even when there are pairs who bicker a lot, in the end they would laugh and be unbelievably happy together. He said sometimes they express it in more passionate ways. He said, in a slightly puzzled tone, that not all humans prefer them and he himself is puzzled on why such desires was necessary (perhaps for survival?) but when it happened it brings such untold joy for the pair.

At that time, of course, Sandalphon doesn’t understand about it. He thinks how it is a luxury to actually feel those and actually be _that_ happy, but this feeling of content in his being is enough. Just by listening to Lucifer-sama spoke, seeing his smile, is enough for him. Lucifer-sama may see him as a mere creation and he may not care about Sandalphon, but it’s okay, because Sandalphon is the one who cares and it’s enough.

... Does this feeling counts as _love_ , then?

 

* * *

 

( As Sandalphon flew with six wings he stole, at the back of his mind, Sandalphon is sure that, it couldn’t be count as love. For love wouldn’t drown him in anger and sheer sadness like this. Love in which Lucifer-sama’s spoke was full of warmth and bright like the garden, it certainly isn’t disappointment and hatred which bled in his veins; hot and begging to be unleashed in madness.

He would certainly hope that _love_ isn’t how Lucifer-sama looks at him in sadness and disappointment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sandalphon is sure now, that love is the way Lucifer-sama care for him by brewing him coffee and talk to him. And even when the realization came far too late, eve when the Supreme Primarch’s head was in his hands, all he could feel was how _empty_ it is, how he couldn’t feel anything, not even the floor beneath him.

But you see—Sandalphon remembered that, Lucifer-sama said there’s a pair, always a pair, who loved each other and share their care to each other; like how the Singularity and the girl in blue is, and he stood up. This is how Sandalphon will care for Lucifer-sama, this is how he will show his love to his creator; even when he’s late and Lucifer-sama might not know about this, he will fulfill his promise. This, he _swore_ in his core. )

 

* * *

 

“Love?”

There must be disgust on his face, or something equaLly fierce that the girl in blue actually leaned back and the Singularity shuffled uncomfortably. But Sandalphon couldn’t bring himself to care because—honestly, what nonsense are they rambling about?

“Well, that pervert is always kinda calm and cling on you when you are around him, or haven’t you realized that?” Ask the red dragon, and that did made him pause.

“That’s true!” The girl in blue piped up, hands forming fists in the familiar gesture of her beaming spirit, “And Belial never did went away before he met you, even when we told him to go away! That must be a sign that he loves you, right, Gran?”

For a moment, Sandalphon contemplates this. His conversation with Lucifer-sama appeared back in his mind and he compared it with the enigmatic actions of Belial, and really, try as he might he couldn’t even find any relation of the two.

“You know,” the Singularity said, carefully, “I sometimes thinks Belial is actually trying to flirt with you, Sandalphon.” He said it with a joking tone, but...

 _But it wouldn’t leave his mind_.

Because even if it began with clashing of swords; even if it began with spars intending to _kill_ , it somehow continued to a small banter, to snarky remarks to each other.  Sandalphon didn’t enjoy their interaction; for as long as Belial talked and smiled all he wanted was to punt that stupid face to the pit of the sky using his own fist. But Belial is persistent and—and just as the red dragon said, before he know it they have a calm, quiet coffee session privately for themselves. Before he know it he was fine with Belial pulling his hand and clinging to him

The crew was admittedly wary, but they have learned to navigate Belial to Sandalphon once the fallen angel visited rather than having extensive damage to the ship.

(“ _You are really cute, you know that, Sandy_?”)

And it was stupid, Sandalphon thinks, it was idiotic, but—

(“ _Oooh? You were smiling, hmmm? My, my, Sandy, you are not only stealing my arousal but also my heart at this point, you know_?”)

But Sandalphon has learned not to be disturbed by Belial’s presence. That alone should be fine, but then he began questioning where did the fallen angel go when he did not come to visit, but—

(“ _Come on Sandy, play with me for a bit here_!”)

But again, it should be normal to worry about that. If Belial is close then it’s easier to monitor him and of course Sandalphon would worry if Belial is out of his routine. But—

( _“_ It’s okay _,” Sandalphon remembered how Belial had looked almost sad, and it might be a mere trick of light; but he continued, “_ I understand how you feel, Sandy. Ouch, don’t look at me like _that_. That _really_ hurt me. But I really do, you know. I did lose someone important too _.”_

 _And for a moment Sandalphon was taken aback by how soft Belial’s expression is, that he did not argue nor move when Belial pulled him close in a gentle, warm hug. “_ It’s alright, Sandy. You can let it out. There’s only me here. _”_

 _There’s a little regret, but it have been one of the bad days where he couldn’t suppress his nightmare of cataclycism and Lucifer-sama’s death, but by the time the regret and embarrassment settled in his heart, he was already leaning his weight to the fallen angel’s body. He had accepted the gesture easily and all he could feel is how_ tired _he is, and Sandalphon chose to close his eyes in the warm embrace.)_

But what the Singularity said has stuck in his mind. It stuck for so long that when the next time Belial visit came, he let the fallen angel won his way without much resistance, letting himself be pulled in a silly dance with an equally silly Belial grinning as he lead Sandalphon on the deck; their feet flowing with a melody. A slow dance under the sun, where Belial twirl him around with his stupid smirk and almost half of the crew watching with claps and another half are bemused yet amused.

As his copper eyes met Belial’s blood-colored eyes, his fingers curled around the taller’s fingers tightly, their bodies close and feet tangled in a dance, he thinks; he could easily end this. He could summon his blade and stab Belial right now. He could step on the ravenette’s foot and punch his face. He could even pull Belial in a deception and behead that smirking head.

(But his thoughts are soon drowned by how red Belial’s eyes are, like gleaming ruby under dark moonlight. How soft his violet-feathers felt as they brushed his cheek. How gentle his hands guided his body as they twirl and step around the deck. How his silly smile looks somehow less silly under the bright sun; how the edges of the smile looks softer, more _real_ than his usual smile. How, Sandalphon thinks, Belial never show that kind of expression to anyone before.

 _The thoughts of Belial so close to himself drowned every other thoughts away, the music entrancing even more, and Sandalphon’s heart skipped a bit._ )

At the end of their dance they were standing nose to nose, the deck blissfully silent; yet the sun was still bright and the wind gentle. His copper eyes met Belial’s ruby eyes in challenge; by how busy Sandalphon is comparing this smile to Belial’s previous smile, he was eventually taken aback by something soft on his own lips; pressing impatiently yet gently.

What pulled Sandalphon back to reality was the gasps and sound of someone crashing to the deck rather _violently_. He blinked to realize that Belial has pulled back, grinning, purring, he easily pulled Sandalphon to a hug by how his hands curled around his shoulder and his waist.

“How’s that for your first time hmm, _Sandy_?”

Belial purrs and whispers a lot, right in front of his ear or not, and it never affected him before but somehow—somehow not this one. Somehow this one made his face hot and he shivered in the embrace. But that same embarrassment and confusion eventually brought up rage; Sandalphon kicked the fallen angel’s shin and materialized his blade, aiming to slash the fallen angel in two.

The image of Belial split in two in front of him did nothing to satisfy him though, as the sound of his laugh echoes Sandalphon knows he’s still out there. Somehow managed to flee, leaving barking laughter in his escape.

“Sandalphon-san! Are you okay?!”

“What did that pervert do to you, Sandalphon!?”

“Do you need to go to infirmary, Sandalphon? A glass of water, maybe?”

Still a bit dazed and angry, Sandalphon brushed the Singularity’s and his best friends’s concerns away with a, “No, i’m fine. I’ll be in my room.”

It is hard to try to maintain a clean head when all his head wanted was to recall his conversation with Lucifer-sama about love; specifically how passionate love between humans works. It’s hard to stay calm when his mind keep connecting it to how Belial’s act all this time, to eventually their small dance and then that—that _kiss_.

It was stupid. Idiotic. _Moronic_. It’s obviously Belial’s ploy to soften him and Sandalphon hates that it might be _working_. Splendidly, even. And how he couldn’t lock those memories away and how they affected his being; Sandalphon hated every bit of it. Worse, it actually made him a little odd. Happy? No, not happy, this is—this is what the Singularity would call as excited, _giddy_.

Again, it’s _moronic_!

( A part of his mind wonders though, a part which recalls Lucifer-sama’s smile and compared it with Belial’s different smile, and thinks,

 _Is this what they mean by_ love? )

 

* * *

 

Eventually, Sandalphon had no time to ponder about it longer; nor he had the time to decide what should he do with it.

Eventually, they found that Belial and Beelzebub has been up to Astrals knows what in Pandemonium. Eventually, they fought a lot of cherubs and fallen angels to crash the ship to Pandemonium.  Eventually, they found out that Belial had been  resurrecting Lucilius all this time, that he killed Sariel for power in order to hold them back from chasing Lucilius.

Eventually, their blades clashes in a battle for their lives, again.

(Quietly, Sandalphon was grateful for this sheer _rage_ he feels. He was grateful for they could drown all confusion and how his heart _ache_ by how Belial mention Lucilius and how _fierce_ he is in protecting his creator. It shouldn’t make him feel like this, but it _did_ , and the rage helped him focus in the middle of his mess of emotions. It helped him focus on his promise to Lucifer-sama. _On saving the world_.

And it hurt more to know Lucifer-sama is dead because of protecting him. It tears his heart to know that he is still as useless as ever, to cause Lucifer-sama’s death. It made him hard to breath that _Belial_ is the one who easily said this to him. Really, _of course_ Belial would say that, what is he thinking? _What is it that he was expecting_?)

“This time,” eventually, Belial’s dying figure stepped back, his red eyes roamed to his opponent’s locked with Sandalphon’s copper eyes, and it must be his imagination how his smirk turned softer and how his eyes lingers longer on his face; or how there’s a smudge of tear fell down those ruby eyes, _it must be_ , “it really is goodbye.”

And Belial’s figure swayed, away from the land where he stood and down, _down_ where the clouds and the orange sky swallow him. To the pit of the sky—if there exist any.

Before he knows it, Sandalphon was standing on the edge where Belial fell before, looking down at the clouds, eyes roaming to see the fallen angel’s last figure. He felt something flowing down his cheeks; _drip drip_ of something down from his face to the dirt beneath him. It was difficult to breath, but Sandalphon could easily ignore that by how his mind (unkindly) recalled Lucifer-sama’s conversation about love; recalled Belial’s different smile and their banter. Recalled his own smile to the fallen angel and how he realized now how relieving it is to see Belial around.

And it also recalled how Belial speak of Lucilius with such _longing_ and _respect_. How _proud_ and _giddy_ he is that Lucilius is back on his feet because of his eons of work. And Sandalphon would know; he spent enough time with Belial to know—and it hurts that what Belial did all this time might not be real at all. That he easily manipulated him, easily worm his way to Sandalphon’s mind and heart to get what he wanted. That Sandalphon has smiled and enjoyed his time with Belial’s ploys. That he was, once again, a mere pawn.

( That he might _fell in love_ with someone who did not see him more than a pawn; that Belial might not reciprocate his feeling at all in favor of Lucilius. And it hurts, Astrals it suffocate him so much it _hurts_. )

He was raged, yes, but by this time the rage has faded and the ache in his chest intensified. By the time Belial fell to his death his heart was broken to hundreds of pieces yet again. Maybe if he was asked at a different situation than this one, at different time and different circumstances; remembering how Belial acts around him, how they both act around each other, really, Sandalphon could answer that yes, it was love between the two of them. But now...

“Singularity,” Sandalphon hated and proud at how his voice remained level and gentle, and the hovering Singularity stepped closer yet still silent, perhaps sensing something different in his tone. And perhaps this one was meant for Lucifer-sama too, if he was still observing them out there,

“If it’s love, then why does it hurt so much?”

The girl in blue was confused, as is the red dragon, but thankfully they remained silent. Sandalphon could _feel_ the moment Singularity’s confusion turned to sheer sadness.

“I’m sorry.”

And Sandalphon chose to not answer because—

Because he’s _sorry_ , too. Sorry for disappointing Lucifer-sama with this useless feelings. Sorry for letting Belial do what he wanted. Sorry for falling so easily. Sorry, _sorry_ —

... No need to dwell on that now, though. He had a world to save. A promise to fulfill.

And Sandalphon moved forward.

**Author's Note:**

> Sandalphon fell in love with the wrong guy. Belial tried to run away from the ache that is his love for Lucilius by playing with Sandalphon, but he ends up falling a little in love too to Sandalphon. 
> 
> They end up killing each other and i am Very Sad.


End file.
